Meet Fabian, My Assistant:

Foto: Sophie Scheifele, Zürich, 2023

Me and Fabian met 15 years ago in a different time. Back then, we spent our nights sitting on the steps to heaven, looking down into the abyss instead of up, and we had a great time doing so. Our lives then took their different courses, but our paths led together again during the pandemic. We ended up living together for some time in Zürich and when lockdown hit, we decided to devote this time to getting rid of all the bullshit in our lives. What else was there to do?

That simple choice led us to be where we are now. As I started training and working shamanically, Fabian stood by my side like a warrior and protected my space. As he chose to change his life completely, I supported him with all the magic I had. During this whole time, we remained in a space of real and genuine non-judgement, which is at the core of all my work. The result of this simple choice is a new life and a glance upwards, into a vision of a future that is so very much expansive.

In short, we just did what all humans are meant to do. We chose to support each other. And that was the beginning of everything.

In 2025, Fabian will finish the shamanic apprenticeship. I am so grateful and proud of my brother for diving into the depths of shadow and death, climbing back out and choosing to be a healer himself. What that means, the future will show, for now I’m grateful to have him by my side and introduce him as the much needed help that I have.


(Scroll down for the English version)


Mein Name ist Fabian und ich bin 46 Jahre alt.

Ich weiss, wie es ist, pleite zu sein, wie es ist, Geld zu machen und auch wie es ist, alles zu verlieren und wieder von vorne anzufangen.

Ich weiss, wie sich eine gebrochene Nase anfühlt, sich das Klicken von Handschellen anhört und wie der Sonnenaufgang durch Gitterstäbe aussieht.

Ich weiss, wie es ist, tagelang wach zu sein und alle Substanzen der Welt intus zu haben.

Ich weiss, was Sinnlosigkeit ist.

Ich weiss, wie es ist, auf die Schnauze zu fallen, aber ich weiss auch, dass man nicht liegenbleiben muss und ich weiss, wie man wieder auf die Beine kommt.

Ich weiss, wie es sich anfühlt, alles stehen und liegen zu lassen und ein neues Leben anzufangen.

Ich weiss, wie es ist, wenn zum ersten Mal alles gut ist.

Ich weiss, wie es sich anfühlt, zum ersten Mal man selbst zu sein und sich in die Arme zu nehmen.

Ich weiss, dass es Dinge gibt, die einem niemand nehmen kann, wenn man sie gefunden hat.

Ich weiss, was passiert, wenn man beginnt, seinem Herzen zu folgen!

Ich bin felsenfest davon überzeugt, dass niemand sein Leben in irgendeinem Hamsterrad verbringen muss und dass jeder seinen Platz und seine Aufgabe hat.

Mein Weg führt dahin, wo ich anderen Menschen dabei zur Seite stehen kann, das Unmögliche ebenso möglich zu machen, wie ich es geschafft habe.


My name is Fabian and I am 46 years old.

I know what it's like to be broke, what it's like to make money and also what it's like to lose everything and start all over again.

I know what a broken nose feels like, what the click of handcuffs sounds like and what the sunrise looks like through prison bars.

I know what it's like to be awake for days on end and to have all the substances in the world in your system.

I know what pointlessness is.

I know what it's like to fall flat on your face, but I also know that you don't have to stay down there and I know how to get back on your feet.

I know what it feels like to throw everything away and start a new life.

I know what it's like when everything feels right for the first time.

I know what it feels like to be yourself for the first time and to embrace your truth.

I know that there are things that no one can take away once you have found them.

I know what happens when you start to follow your heart!

I am firmly convinced that no one has to spend their life in some kind of hamster wheel and that everyone has their place and their purpose.

My path leads to where I can support other people in making the impossible possible, just as I have done.

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